Hey Overwhelmed Mom- I See You
So, my new business is very busy, and I work alot- not only with clients, but on other facets too (like a new accessories biz!)
Just when I’m feeling successful, I forget about Crazy Hair day at my son’s school, or realize we have no bread in the morning and have to grab him a sandwich from Tim Horton’s for lunch that day. Sometimes I forget about picture day, and I always buy him winter boots after the first snow. (Winter comes so fast!) I also really don’t want to go on field trips. Or have big birthday parties. When I help him with homework I end up yelling, and both of us cry. So what happens? All the success I feel that I have in my life goes out the window, because I develop MOM GUILT. (Also, my house is usually super messy and my son’s room is a disaster.)
Where does this MOM GUILT come from? Why do we feel that we have to be some weird image of the perfect mom? I work with many women who have this mom guilt, as well as Overwhelm. I think the guilt comes from the Overwhelm.
You take on too much. You should be able to do ALL the things, right? Plan meals, bake for the bake sale, take your kids to practices, work, clean. Even when your partner shares the load, do you feel like you SHOULD be doing everything?
So you take on all the things, which is physically and mentally exhausting. But you shouldn’t be tired and a bit bitchy and a bit annoyed, because you’re a MOM, and you should love doing everything for your family. You should never feel resentful. You should never yell at your kids. How many of us yell at our kids so much more when that Overwhelm is happening? When I feel like things are out of control, I yell over every little thing. I feel like I might explode. And what makes it worse, is that I know, while I am freaking out, that what I’m freaking out about is not the actual problem. I am yelling at my son about his homework because I feel like I dropped the ball. And then, the guilt.
The other weekend I said to my husband, “I feel like all I do is work, do groceries and take Matteo to basketball.” And he was like, “yeah, that’s what everyone does.” And here’s the thing- I am choosing to do all of that. We all choose to take on too much, and feel guilt, or resentment or whatever. I know it feels like you don’t have another choice, but you do. You just don’t realize it.
What if it was easy to make another choice? What if you could quiet your mind, really have clarity of thought and feel organized all the time? What if you could stop yelling at your kids? Release the feelings of guilt, and be truly happy? Yep, it’s totally possible. The work I do will clear your mind and release negative emotions and beliefs so that overwhelm and mom guilt totally goes away.
Here are some other strategies, you can start right now to help as well.
Take 5 minutes every day and listen to a relaxation hypnosis or mediation. This will start shifts in your unconscious mind.
Delegate. Choose a few chores that someone else can do that you hate. No extra cash? Swap. Do you have a friend who loves to cook? And you don’t mind extra kids around? Maybe she does some baking for you and you take her kids a few hours per week. Be creative.
Be kind to yourself. Realize that no-one is perfect, and that you are enough. More than enough. How boring would it be to be perfect? And you would totally have no friends.
Lose the guilt. If your kid is alive and fed at the end of the day, you’ve done great.
Realize that your kids love you no matter what. My son really didn’t care about crazy hair day. Or that I don’t make cupcakes for his class, He does enjoy it when I don’t yell at him, though. And when I am relaxed enough to play with him. And when I am smiling.
So give yourself a break! You are doing a great job. Go on, buy yourself a necklace. You deserve it.